Quotes =]
When God created Adam he scratched his head and thought "I can do better than that!"
Men are like lava lamps: Fun to watch but not too bright
Men are like slinkys: pointless but fun to watch fall down the stairs!
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
God created man. Then he had a better idea.
Men have dogs because they want best friends dumber than them. Women have men.
Women can do anything a man can do- and they can do it in high heels!
Tell a man there are a billion stars in the sky and he will believe you. Tell him there is wet paint on the bench and he will have to touch it to be sure
Men are pigs, too bad they own everything.
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
I haven't spoken to my wife in a year. I don't like to interrupt her.
Sorry guys I couldn't find many ones against girls- there just arent' enough bad things about us!! hehe
God doesn't believe in Atheists therefore Atheists do not exist
Don't be so open minded- your brains might fall out
Man is certainly stark mad: He cannot make a flea, yet he makes gods by the dozens
Professionals built the Titanic- Ameteurs built the ark.
A dislexic, insomniac, philosopher- someone who lies awak all night wondering if there really is a dog
A good sermon has a good beggining, a good ending, and no middle
Pickup: Hey, baby, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Slam: No, was the elevator ride from Hell very long?
Pickup: Havent I seen you someplace before?
Slam: Yeah, thats why I don't go there anymore
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket, I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.
Sorry I'm not fluent in Moron.
If you gave me a piece of your mind you wouldn't have enough left for yourself.
If you had an idea it would die of loneliness
If you haev any great quotes send them to me at SubmitYourStuff@yahoo.com